I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
