it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
