evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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