when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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