Don't you send me to vm
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
