Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
