He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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