i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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