I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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