Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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