I need help removing her.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
