Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (970): I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises. http://tfl.nu/lren
  Replies (67) Good night (19697) Bad night (945)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process http://tfl.nu/ph4s
  Replies (10) Good night (491) Bad night (4576) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!" http://tfl.nu/c7ck
  Replies (64) Good night (9949) Bad night (675) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (918): Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one http://tfl.nu/ihc6
  Replies (22) Good night (872) Bad night (11104) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (973): I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation. http://tfl.nu/5xqx
  Replies (7) Good night (809) Bad night (4429) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (909): Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups... http://tfl.nu/mcei
  Replies (5) Good night (2896) Bad night (1206) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (810): I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago. http://tfl.nu/b9vc
  Replies (21) Good night (4682) Bad night (950) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead. http://tfl.nu/yvss
  Replies (11) Good night (873) Bad night (3685) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf. http://tfl.nu/kj2s
  Replies (20) Good night (6948) Bad night (760) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won http://tfl.nu/r5as
  Replies (6) Good night (3356) Bad night (544)
• Favorite

  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (321): Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol http://tfl.nu/hpqb
  Replies (11) Good night (395) Bad night (1144) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (506): my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend http://tfl.nu/ehpb
  Replies (13) Good night (4398) Bad night (480) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (320): View more from Minnesota

  Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (320): Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store. http://tfl.nu/lfii
  Replies (3) Good night (1226) Bad night (233) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (931): My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation http://tfl.nu/stoh
  Replies (2) Good night (480) Bad night (250) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are

  (815): View more from Illinois

  Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are (815): Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa http://tfl.nu/l4r8
  Replies (2) Good night (523) Bad night (144)

Randomize