Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
