Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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