Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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