he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
