Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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