i jhust puked up my retainher.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I just forgot I was standing up.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Randomize