Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
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