I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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