i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I'm always down for nudity.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize