physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
