It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
