If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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