I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize