WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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