im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I am available for nakedness
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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