This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
