WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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