is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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