walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
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