i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
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