Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
