when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
