we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
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Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
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