That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
