I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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