My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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