the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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