i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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