is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
