p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
