I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
