watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
