my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
