Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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