Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
