I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
