I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
