I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Why did my mother make you get naked?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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