Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Randomize
