I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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