I don't usually arrange sex via text message
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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