I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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