Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
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I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
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I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
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