HIV tests are more positive than that guy
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
