Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Randomize
