Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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