Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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