I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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