Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Randomize
