fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
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