jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
